wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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