Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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