She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
