Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
