Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
When are your genitals available?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
