I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize