Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
