Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just invented taco cereal.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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