i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Randomize
