Please, let me fuck your mom
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
bring money and cleavage
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
All the doctor said was why
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
