It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
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remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
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I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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