Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
