I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
