Whod you bang
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
