I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
