hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
