and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize