you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
