he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
