You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
why does every cop we meet know your name?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
