We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
