did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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