Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
