I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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