Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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