I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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