shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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