Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
