I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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