If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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