Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
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he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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