Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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