Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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