Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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