I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
