i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
