I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
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