He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
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nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
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Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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