hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize