so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just found puke in my bra..
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
