but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So. Much. Porn.
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