I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
