can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
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New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
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You had me at "let me see your balls"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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