I wish I could teleport
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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