I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
