i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
