At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
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And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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