If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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