Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
