butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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