we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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